Mittwoch, 3. August 2011

Mayday, Mayday, Warning to all shippers!!

There is a horrible horrible new trend starting in the new series and it really needs to come with its own warning. In bright neon, flashing lights, because it literally tortures Shippers and possibly kills the will to ship. I kid you not!! It’s awful, (I’m convinced its a JW conspiracy, that man hated his shippers!)

The worst of it is that these shows are like a psychotic spider, drawing you in slowly.

They are pretty and hot and so very yummy that you fall almost instantly in shipper love with the main characters.
The writers (devious demonic beasts) pull you in closer with every episode, feeding you just a little more of the good stuff, the hot kisses, the long looks, the “denying their feelings” bit while at the same time making it obvious to everyone that those feelings are deep and lasting. Then the first kiss, the first break up, more denial, but suddenly the hot hot love scene that has you rewinding that damn scene over and over, which is of course followed by the near death scene and the revelation of afore mentioned denied feelings.


Then comes the best part of all and the most insidiously horrendous crime of all... the Euphoria, the happy time.

And suddenly just when you are relaxing and think this is the one! This is the ONE! THIS IS THE ONE! 
The demonic, Beast, writer/spider snaps its little trap closed, drags you down into oblivion, wraps you in gooy thread and sucks your insides out through the top of your head!

 


Point of example? You want a for-instance?

Take The Glades.

Amazing show, and seriously Matt Passmore? Not hard on the eyes at all... (I mean really what do they feed the men down under?)
But I digress, the ship takes off right from the first episode, and you are hooked by the second, and by the first kiss you are already hearing the wedding march in your head and imagining Matt in a Tux.......................... umm yeah.
 

Where was I? Oh yes.

The writers play it well, throw her husband being in prison, and her child into the works, plus Jim being a real player and you get lots of sexual tension, the obligatory man-grabby skank gets thrown into the mix and (if you are like me and have seen this coming from the moment the writer’s fingers touched the keyboard to write that cliche) you are kind of yawning your way through the next few scenes, until of course the happy couple find each other again and have great make-up, first time sex.
What you don’t expect is her husband to phone them during the morning after, and declaring he’s coming home.
And even worse you do not expect season 2 to be the biggest lame ass crap fest ever!! But there you have it.



Lost Girl is another... man look at these scenes. Do they not scream trap?
 


Yeah “Wolves mate for life” ?? Fuck off, that should read “Wolves mate until some witch bitch comes and takes your passion away!”
 








ARRRRGHHHHH I hereby give up my shipper powers!! No more, as far as I am concerned y’all can go get your insides sucked out through your head, I’m done.