NOOOOO!!!

This was just too good not to share!:

Ode to Shipper's Old and New!

A new ship is something fantastic.
It's hot and thrilling and ecstatic.
And since all of the above
Are like falling in love
The best ships have a chemistry that's erotic.

Hah my very first Limerick!!! Do I rock or what??

Herewith clips of a my newest ship!

Sorry spot but you just took too long to catch up... now you gonna have to figure it out, but trust me watch the show just for the amazing fun that is Leo!!! hehe

Horror movie therapy!

Pet recently wrote a post about things that stick with you for a lifetime, and the songs that make an impact and retain their specific meaning in your life forever.  I don't seem to have one!  I have some songs that I no longer listen to because they remind me of events I would rather not remember!  However, every now and then (read: weekly) I have a song that seems to fit my current mood, or current events in my life, and listening to this song helps me through.  


This week’s song is Florence’s ‘Shake it out’
Here, listen:
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn


And, when I’m depressed and feel like everything is just happening too fast, everything is just going wrong and one fuck-up seems to follow another (very dramatic I know, but I should add that PMS is kicking my ass too and making me believe things are much worse than they actually are!), I find myself a good (or bad, or fucking stupid) chomp-chomp horror movie!  This is like therapy (actually, being a bitch is my therapy – nudge-nudge-wink-wink), for many reasons:

1. That poor sod desperately trying to outswim a great white shark has issues that are definitely more dire than mine!
   
   
   
2. The idiot who just recently lost his arm to a tiger shark, and has now decided to go back in the water to avenge his arm, or girlfriend (I forget which), because he comes from the hood, and in the hood they firmly believe in revenge, is definitely making a decision much worse than any decision I have ever made! (in case you’re interested, the shark killed the one-armed idiot. Apparently the shark’s ‘eat or be eaten’ belief far outweighs any beliefs they have in the hood!)
   
   
   
3. The fuckwitt who decides to stand in front of a tree screaming as a crocodile chases him down, instead of climbing the tree, which results in him getting eaten, is a much worse problem solver than I am!
   
   
   
4. The poor bastard who comes face to face with a hoard of huge piranhas, who then eat, regurgitate and re-eat his penis (yes, it happened!!), finds himself, without a doubt, in a more scary situation than I am currently in!
   
   
   
5. And, the hero who hunted down the monster crocodile and killed it with a sharp stick, while inside its mouth, will definitely need a lot more therapy than I ever will (no, this is not debatable!

Back to Florence, I'm still depressed :(



D

Mama said I'd have days like this!!

What she did not say was that, the hardest part of those days would be not doing this...to everyone breathing!!!

Love the Hulk!!

Because .....

And because I didn't get any comments for my last two posts! .... MHUWAHAHA!!

Man I love Philip Glenister/Gene Hunt... and yes I realize that I am completely alone in this love, (except for maybe his family...). But it is Twoo Wuve! 

This one is Season Finale for Hart of Dixie, good show, another one where the writers are horribly manipulating the fan's with two possible hotties to get into our Girlfriends undies... and my ship came in, in a big way. Next season they are going to rip that apart, but I will enjoy the moment while I can . :D

I have often been heard stating loudly and long, that the writers of this show loved their fan's enough to change the end when the show was cancelled. Here is the added on bit for the fan's and lets be honest here, he's so not hard on the eyes! 

These two because I am awed by a woman that uses a man's own belt to strangle him with (and he's twice her size), and because I do believe she would have gotten further!!

If you have to ask why this one .... eeesh!

Sometimes a writer must know when to stop.

As hard as it is, and as much as you have grown to love your characters, a writer needs to let them go, let them live out their lives in the fantasy land, in peace, and let your readers have their illusion of happily ever after.

I know this is probably the very wrong place for this rant, and I should be putting it up on Goodreads, but that is too public a forum and as much as I need to rant about this, I don’t want to do it openly. The reason for it is that I will explain in due time.

To start I need to give a very brief summary of those books I said I love so much, Anne Bishop’s Black Jewel trilogy. Rest assured D and A, I do not expect, or actually want you to read the books. This is just me trying to get something out of my head that has been eating at me and you two are unfortunately my Peep’s, which is just another word for mine to torture.

AB’s world revolves around a code, honor, courage and strength. It’s the very foundation of her world, and her characters. The story is set in a land where magic flows through jewels, the darker the jewel the stronger the magic, the more powerful the person wearing the jewel. (oh and the jewels choose the wearer not the other way around)

The land is ruled by Queen’s, witches born with the power to command men. Those men become her court, her circle. She may have men in her circle with far stronger jewels than her’s, and still have complete control over them, because the men are bound by the code of the Blood to serve, no mater what the Queen asks of them. 

The majority of the Blood are a long lived race, not quite immortal as they can be killed, but they can live for thousands and even tens of thousands of years.

Like in all things, Evil has found a footing in this world, in the guise of three very powerful Queens who between them rule all three of the realms. These three Queens have done very bad things and have forced good men into slavery to them. Two of those men are incredibly powerful Dark Jeweled Warlords. 

Born into this time is a young witchling with a power than is almost impossible. She does things that are unheard of and she carries a jewel that no one knew existed. (The darkest jewel being Black,) She carries Ebony (darker than black) and this while she is still only a child. 

Through much pain and hardship and three very large books, this young witch saves the realms, with the help of the warlords and and grows into a very powerful Queen, and marries her beloved Warlord. 

That should be the end of the story... but it’s not. AB would not let it go. Jeannelle ( The good Queen) was mortal, she did not have the lifespan of the others, she had a very normal human lifespan. This could be part of her life or it could be part of AB’s “everything has a price” theme which is very much the spine of her writing. 

Here comes the rant... She made us love her, she made Deamon love her, in one part of her story he realizes that he has waited 1800 years for this woman, to love this one, to serve this woman. Even before that when she is still a child, he swears by all that is in him, with ever fiber of his being that he will protect her, from everything, even himself. And he does that, again and again he fights for her, stands when he shouldn’t be able to.  And when she asks him to do something so terrible it would have killed a lesser man, he does it. No question, no hesitation, because she is his queen. 

When he thought she died, he goes mad, literally insane. He dives down into his own mind (they call it the twisted kingdom and people never come out of there) and stays there for over twenty years, until she finally finds him and managed to bring him out. 

This is a love story that wraps it’s way around your heart, it bores into you and sinks it’s hooks in. At the end of book 3 you are crying through tears, book 4, 5, 6,7,8 are short stories or just little moments in the lives of those characters with the purest light being the love between Daemon and Jeannelle... 

Book 9 she kills Jeannelle!!

They had 70 years together, and she aged while he did not, and he loved her right up to the moment she died...

WTF? Is that supposed to make me feel better? I love AB’s writing, she wrings emotions out of you, until you want to hit the ground and cry uncle. And yes I admire the fact that she didn’t wimp out, that she didn’t make a happy cure for mortality, that she didn’t suddenly give Jeannelle another 1000 odd years or let her become Demon Dead.... but I hate the fact that she did not just leave me to my illusions, that she did not leave this love story alive in my head.

Is that courageous? or just plain stupid? As a writer, is that being true to your craft, or not knowing when to step back and letting go? 

I don’t know, but I do know that I have learnt from this. Sometimes you have to let them go... NOT KILL THEM THE FUCK OFF!!!

The things that stay with us for a lifetime.

I’m heading towards the half century mark in my life, so I feel quite comfortable talking about “a lifetime” since 50 years is exactly that. 

Supposedly, I have moved on through the various stages of a woman’s life, those stages being, child, woman, mother, crone, (though honestly I don’t like the word Crone... makes me sound like a giant black half witch half bird thing.). And am now supposedly (there’s that word again... ) sitting in my rocking chair, content to impart wisdom on the younger generation that surround me... 

Yeah.. don’t hold your breath for that, cause the only wisdom I have to impart is never try to down two liters of Long Island Ice Tea... it makes your legs fall off. True story!

What I can share though is a small list of books, films, and music that have made an impact on me and continue to stay in my mind years later.

Films... there are a few I love and watch contently over and over again, but only two that still haunt my mind like happy ghosts.

She Lives 1973

I watched that film when I was far too young to even understand half of what I was watching, but my memory of it is so clear that what I didn’t understand when I was 11 I do now. Sadly it never made it onto DVD and I very much doubt it ever will. To this day even the critics are uncertain what they think of this made for TV movie, the acting was  naive, the entire film a little over done, but it had the most amazing music that just brought the whole thing to life... Jim Croce’s Time in a bottle, and Harry Chapin’s All my life’s a Circle, the sad, nostalgic hope filled story did the rest.

The other is “If you could see what I hear” 1982. 

Marc Singer does a realistic job of portraying the blind singer/songwriter Tom Sullivan in this sometimes light hearted story on his life. 

“There is nothing wrong with what you are wearing... it’s your socks. You’ve got them on the wrong feet again.” 

I laughed until I wet myself the first time I watched that, and having found it on Youtube recently, had the same reaction all over again. 

Light heart indeed, but there was also a very dark lesson to be learnt there, and it was incredibly moving when he had to learn it. 

Perhaps not two highly intelligent movies, or deeply epic, or even visually moving. For some not even worth remembering, but they spoke to me, and still do all these years later.

Music.

Ah now that one is difficult, there are so many incredible songs, and songwriters that have followed me through all the different moments of my life, it'd be difficult to pick just two... but I am a singularly simple person, something not a lot of people would agree with, and I like the compliment of that, being considered many faceted, and complicated is an ego boost, but sadly not one I can live up to. 

As a child my favorite song was Master Jack, Four Jacks and a Jill, and strangely enough I still love it, even more now that I actually now understand the lyrics. It speaks of learning and growing, of moving on and letting go. Something I knew far too much of far too young in my life, and my sisters too. 
That’s one of life’s first lessons when you are born of a mother with a Gypsy soul. But .... and let me be very clear on this, while it was a hard lesson to learn, it was met, matched, and passed by the wonder and excitement of seeing so much more of the world, and more importantly the people and cultures in it. I have a diverse group of friends, from all walks of life and all over the world, and I would not trade them for anything.

Nik Kershaw I Won't Let the Sun Go Down on Me von Celtiemama




Back on track, another of my favorites is “I won’t let the Sun go down on me”, by Nik Kershaw. That song for some reason always makes me pull up my big girl panties, notch up my chin and stand up, no mater how hard life slammed me down. It’s not a particularly clever song, and it really has nothing to do with inner strength or getting up when you’ve been knocked down, but for me it just works.

There are many many more songs that bring me joy when I’m sad and bring me up when I’m down, Jim Croce has to be my favorite singer/songwriter, along with Alanis Morissette, the Bee Gee’s, Rod Stewart (who’s name I could not come up with in a quiz, which I will never live down..) Brian Addams.... the list goes on and on.

Books... oh man, I have an entire wall filled with books, which do not include the 2000 odd books I have on my tablet or the thousands of books I have read and not kept, or lost along the way. 

If by some miracle when my time comes and  I am given a choice on where I wanted to die, I would choose the book room in the British Museum. To end my life there would bring me the greatest joy, because that room has to be the one that fills me with both joy and peace. The very first time I lay eyes on it I burst into tears, I had to let them out, there was no way I could keep that much wonder and reverence inside me. 

Strange then that there are only two sets of books that I consider a my favorites.  The first are The War of Powers and The War of Powers 2  by Richard E Vardeman and Victor Milan. I first read those when my youngest child was a baby, stuck in a small town with very little in the way of entertainment except a very old small cinema that only showed films on the weekends. I found them in the library and was sorely tempted to keep them.  They were the first fantasy books I’d read and they pretty much paved the way for my imagination to find its own world. I spent years trying to find those books, and I can not describe the feeling and gratitude I felt when my sisters found them and gave them to me as a christmas gift nearly ten years later.  

The second is The Black Jewel Trilogy by Anne Bishop. Not everyone can get past the names of the characters, or the world AB has created, and I understand that. A couldn’t they freaked her out a little too much to read the books through. For me it was only a slight issue into maybe the first chapter, after that the characters that bore those names made them their own and I lost myself in their story so completely that it is to this day the only book I have ever actually wept while reading. And while I would love to read it over and over again, the emotional wringer that AB puts her readers through is so intense I find it almost impossible to sleep, eat, or concentrate on anything else for days during and after reading them, my mind constantly filled with the characters, the settings, the story. 

And there it is, 

Spoilers!! (like anyone really cares.)

Because "Of course it's a good show."  !! :P

er....

Whoaaaa! Somebody get me a glass.....

'Cuz I just found me a tall drink of water:

Quick update....

Castle:

Glee:

Bones:

But I don't care because:

Everything is good and nothing hurts ;)

Speechless..

I could write a review about this episode, or a long article on how good Castle is and how this creator loves his fans.  How a ship should be brought in and how to beat 'the curse' etc.. etc..  And maybe I will, but for now, all I can say is:
Shut The Front Door!!!!!

What do we watch now?

Have you ever wondered how the TV directors/producers/writers/whatevers feel about the fan’s or more specific about the shippers?

Well lets find out shall we?

Remington Steele :- granted they obviously did not like their actors much, because they fucked PB around something terrible and cost him a good many Bond years, however they liked their fan’s enough to give them a six episode closure, and they liked their shippers enough to give them some really juicy love scene’s right from the start. 

Every episode of RS has on average two personal scenes between RS and LH, by personal I mean cuddling, hugging, kissing or talking about their relationship. I remember when we watched it, D and I had no idea what a shipper was but we loved loved loved that show. Now I know why. Each episode had enough of everything to please everyone, there was the obligatory car/bike/rollerscate/scooter/whatever chase, the normal body count, or grisly murder and the usual who-done-it theme with the fake killer or killers followed by the last minute revelation of who the real killer is, and woven in the midst of all that action is the romance, sweet, hot, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, and sometimes incredibly touching, but always there, like sugar and milk in coffee, it added and enriched the show.

Scarecrow and Mrs King, again, the show’s writers/directors/producers liked their fans, so much so when Ms Jackson got sick they gave us a wedding and a happy ever after, but even before she was diagnosed, we got long looks and bouts of jealousy, a definite something between them right up until the middle of season 2, by the end of that season we knew they were destined to be together, and by halfway into season 3 we were getting the almost kisses, which they frustratingly dragged out until the last episode in season 3, but then again it was worth the wait, when he locks that door and then grabs her with that look in his eyes…. Omg meltdown! 

Moving forward, Buffy the Vampire slayer and Angel. Joss Whedon pretended to like his fan’s, his shippers, he gave us a song and dance, played nice with us, wink wink, nudge nudge, I’ll give all my shippers what they want, kiss kiss, and we loved him for it, we absolutely adored him, he was the God of television. He gave us Buffy and Angle, Xander and Willow, Willow and OZ, Willow and Terra, Buffy and Spike, Angel and Cordy, Fred and Wesley. And then he showed his true face, as he systematically destroyed every single ship and gave us…. “I love you Spike,” as he burst into fucking flames and dies… really? FU Joss Whedon!  

  

Star Trek, DSN, Voy, TNG, (Deep Space Nine, Voyager, The Next Generation..:) ) I don’t know if I have enough space on this blog to cover that franchise fully, but the short version is they loved to fuck their fans, sometimes without any foreplay! TNG I love Ryker and Troy, shipped them with a vengeance, and they gave us that ship, in tiny little sips. In the seven seasons of TNG they gave us maybe three or four episodes with a brief moment between them, I loved them anyway. That they finally gave us the ship in the movies is I think only because that particular ship was not to be denied and they wanted their fan’s in the cinemas and that was one way of making sure they went, everyone shipped them. 

Every other ship on those shows was squashed, like a squirming bug, they threw the actors together and watched for the chemistry, then they let it play out a little, and then they stomped on it. Worf and Jadzia Dax were amazing together, all the things B'elana and Tom could have been but were not. Which brings me to that ship, yeah it came in, and then they did the unthinkable, they literally turned Torres into a doormat and asshole into an asshole. I didn’t really ship them anyway, I thought the chemistry between her and Chakotay way better and it would have been a hotter coupling, but I was willing to settle for Chuckles and Janeway, which they nearly gave us and then cruelly whipped away, only to sucker punch us with Chakotay and 7of9. So yeah, next time I watch anything Star Trek I’m packing lube!

Moving on to Murdoch Mysteries, another heart breaker. Seriously do the writers not realize how much the fan’s invest in their ships? Or are they truly convinced that we are that fickle no matter who they throw together we’ll suck it up? I think in this instance the PTB just didn’t know or care what the fan’s thought. This particular ship is too close and too painful to go into with more detail, we lived it, we survived it, we mourned it and now we are moving on. But I might add when the awful finale of season 4 aired in the UK, the board exploded with devastated fan’s begging to be told they were not about to be tossed out of a moving airShip to plummet to their shipper death, the one person to offer us hope was the original Murdoch Mysteries authors husband as he tried to calm us down and talk us all off the ledge, telling us that his wife had no say in the episode writing, and that he was sure the writers would save the day in the next season… yeah dude thanks but it’s halfway through season 5 and I still aint watching it! 

The Glades, now there again is a show where the PTB love their fan’s. I am adding the producer/director of that series to my “I heart him” list, just as soon as I take the time to find out his name. Hehe. Season 1 right from about the first show, he meets his Callie and it is sparks flying, half way through the season she’s grabbed him and literally gave him such a smooch it turns his brains to mush, you can just see it oozing out of his ears! That continues with an on again off again smooch fest until finally in the finale he bounces her and Oh my, he does it very, very well. Sadly her husband phones and interrupts the morning-after-in-the-kitchen sex. Which is ok because you know season 2 is going to be interesting because of it. And it is, yes it is also extremely annoying, and that is to be expected, the writers are after all mostly men, however the season 2 finale makes up for everything!

Bones, ugh what can I say? Only that HH is absolutely clueless, and loosing more clue by the second! Did he break the moonlighting curse? Ummm well… he just created a whole nuther something, I can’t even call it a curse, it’s more of an Armageddon implosion. It’s as if he wanted to self destruct the show by overdosing the fans on too much sweetness, he’s succeeding. 

Now see a lot of people will say Awww how sweet, Bones is Mommy, Booth is daddy and isn’t they just the sweetest things you’s ever did see. They’ll all be lapping up the, I love my baby so much, and if anything happened to that baby I’d die. (Which is a whole nuther rant on my part because to me that sounded like Booth was saying, yeah I dig you fine, but man if anything happened to my sprog… I’d die?) and a lot of them will say Yes! see HH did beat that nasty old curse, while they do an air high five. 

But some of us are faster on the uptake than other’s or have a lower tolerance to bullshit, even if it is sweetened with sprinkles on top. And it is bullshit, smelly, over done, lazy ass, piled up to the rafters, shyte. I understand ED was preggers and they had to do something, but frankly, I wish they had done anything but that! I would have been fine with another season of unrequited love, of a slow getting back into each other, after the Hannah disaster, I’d have settled for body shots of ED from the face up, and her spending more time in the lab, as long as they gave us a few tender moments, it did not even have to be total lip locks or sex as long as it moved their emotional story along. What we got was “Booth I’m pregnant, and you’re the father”. It’s like HH prematurely ejaculated all over his fans while we’re all still waiting for the fun to start.

I mean seriously how hard do you have to work to fuck something that good up???

Castle, and here I’m probably going to have D wanting to throw Ninja stars at my ass, bit it is another ship that is sinking fast. Mostly because the BFFF (big fat flabby faddy) is being a dick, and the writers shot themselves in the foot by introducing Detective Hunk… er I mean Hunt into things. My best case scenario? Hunky Hunt call’s our delectable Beckett for help on a particularly complicated murder in London and she leaves the bfff to his bimbo’s and baby face pouting. Maybe just maybe he’ll man up and go after her with a little more effort than… “I love you” while she’s bleeding to death from a bullet to the chest!! I even prefered the neanderthal he was partnered up with last week, purely for “A woman like that, you storm the beaches or die trying!” he’s and ass but I like his style.

I’m very much afraid that while I still love, adore, worship, have confusing possibly lesbian feelings about, Beckett, I am seriously not even liking Castle a little bit, and despite the derogatory name calling, it’s not because he’s gotten a little rounder, it’s simply because as a writer in a cop show he always skated the very edge of wimpy wussyness but somehow managed to make that appealing, now he’s toppled right over into the abyss and IMO no longer compliments Beckett at all, in fact he seems to me just to be a great big baby she has to coddle. AM I’ve had my fill of onscreen babies, for fuck’s sakes macho Castle up!

The Good Wife.  For a while there I really thought that maybe my ship on that one would come in, but sadly it’s sinking… or not. They are only on the third season so I can’t really say how they feel about their fans, it all hangs on how they end the season. 

See there is a very simple way to tell if the show’s PTB like their fans or not, just watch how they end their seasons. Most of these show’s do not know if they are going to be renewed for another season until long after the last show has been filmed and aired. Which means they have to assume that every season will be their last, and how they end those seasons show us how they feel about us. So far TGW is up for grab’s, they gave us a suspense ending on season 1, the most amazing kiss for season 2, the next two episodes of season 3 will determine if they get my attention next September or not.

Justified is a show that is worth watching, but the only one I want to ship Timothy Olyphant with is me!!

Which brings me to my question..... WHAT THE FUCK DO WE WATCH NOW!!

No longer shipping Cask.....

Um.....

... sorry, what was I saying?

LOL

Words and Music

After various chats with various people about stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics, I decided to dedicate today’s blog to this very subject!

 
Stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics.

Before I get into the first song, I need to confess something:  As much as I love MeatLoaf (when he is singing Jim Steinman songs), there is one song that always irritated me.  No, it’s not ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’ (Although I am sure I could find something wrong with that too!).  It is actually ‘Two out of three ain’t bad’.  Why?  Let me explain:

The song starts off with Meat moaning about how he and his chick have been talking and fighting (and crying) all night, and are not getting anywhere.  And that she is threatening to throw him out, in the cold where the snow is piling up.  And you’re thinking, shame man poor guy!  Then he carries on that he has been trying to show her how much he cares, and that she is so cold that he is crying icicles instead of tears.  And again you feel sorry for this poor guy with the full of shit girlfriend who is giving him the cool silent treatment.  

But then the truth comes out! 

Because then he fesses up – the reason for the fight is because he is just looking for a fuck-buddy and she is looking for love, and is probably already in love with him – and he has just crushed her heart by telling her that he wants sex but he does not love her, and definitely never will.  No wonder she is cold towards him!  No wonder she wants to throw his ass out in the snow!  Then, to make matters worse, he starts talking about his ex girlfriend (cos that’s what every woman wants to hear about!) and how she treated him EXACTLY how he is treating this poor woman who is not so willing to accept his friends-with-benefits proposal!  Throw his ass out I say!  Let him go home and cry for hours about his ex-girlfriend. Go find someone who actually will love you, and don’t let this douche waste another minute of your time! 

If you search the net for stupid lyrics, the song that is normally at the top of any list is Des’ree’s ‘Life’ – simply due to the “ghost, most, toast” line.  As you know, I do not have a problem with this line, I actually quite agree with what she is saying and would definitely encourage eating toast instead of seeing ghosts.  However, there is another line in this song that I find stupid: “I’m afraid of the dark, ‘specially when I’m in a park and there’s no-one else around” Why would you do this?  Why would you go to a park? In the dark! All alone! With no-one else around! (which technically IS all alone)  That is just plain stupid! 

Remember Toto’s ‘Africa’?  Nice song right?  I know, we always bitched about the “I guess it rains down in Africa” line, especially since we grew up in Africa and we experienced very many rainstorms during the years, some that even led to the flooding of our house!  So, yes dude, it DOES rain in Africa!  So much so that the cars were floating down the river outside my bedroom window!  BUT, this is not the most ridiculous line of the song!  It gets worse!  ‘The wild dogs cry out in the night. As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company. I know that I must do what's right. As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti”
Um.... solitary company?  How?  I will leave the rest of those lyrics without comment – I just cannot.....

Talking about Africa, the song that irritates me the most, every single Christmas, is ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’  This entire verse:

“And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time. The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life. Where nothing ever grows. No rain or rivers flow.”

1. 
   We do not consider snow a ‘gift’ in Africa. We do not have central heating and the freezing temperatures commonly associated with snow would result in a lot of people dying.
2. There is snow on the top point of Mount Kilimanjaro all year round – including Christmas time, and that is in Africa
3. 
   Lots of stuff grows in Africa – do your own research on the agricultural exports in Africa!
4. Lots of rivers flow in Africa. The Zambezi, the Okavango, the Orange river, the NILE!!  Again, do your research!

Then we get A’s absolute fave!  ‘Human’  I understand A’s irritation with this song and their eternal question “are we human, or are we dancers?”  And, what makes it worse is that, for some reason which I will never understand, this song is so popular it is played on the radio all the fucking time!  Every time you turn the radio on this idiot is asking if he is human or if he is a dancer!  What the hell else would you be man?  While some humans cannot dance, all dancers are human – trust me on this!  Well, except maybe for Natalie Portman in Black Swan, cos she might not have been human, she may just have been a black swan (I only watched her final dance in the movie, and she did turn into a black swan – then she turned back into a dancer again!  Maybe that’s where the confusion came from?  The guy who wrote this song watched the end of this movie and got confused?)

Walking in Memphis (the Marc Cohn version, not the Cher version cos the Cher version was in the X-files when Mulder and Scully danced – so it is cool and fault free!)  The line that always irritated me was “do I really feel the way I feel?”.  Are you seriously asking us dude?  If you don’t know, then we don’t know, you know?  Men, too lazy to decide for themselves how they freaking feel!  This song apparently also has one of the most misunderstood lyrics.  P and I always thought he was singing “walking with my feet, 10 feet off the beat/ground somefuckingthing” – but when I looked up the official lyrics I found that what he is actually singing is “with my feet 10 feet off of Beale”  Not much of an improvement because I have no idea what ‘Beale’ is!  I think it’s the name of a street, maybe in Memphis? (cos that’s where he is walking)  If this is true, then how the hell is he able to walk with his feet 10 feet off the street?  That’s not walking, that is flying (and I want some of what he is smoking!

One last one, cos if I don’t stop I would be here all day:

I think the song is called 'Friends' and I have no idea who sings it!  I just know that it is played on the radio all the freaking time and it irritates the crap out of me:

“At least I’ve got my friends, saving me from the sharks” Bwahahahahaha!!!  What, cos you can swim faster than them? 






I'm done here!

D