After various chats with various people about stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics, I decided to dedicate today’s blog to this very subject!
Stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics.
Before I get into the first song, I need to confess something: As much as I love MeatLoaf (when he is singing Jim Steinman songs), there is one song that always irritated me. No, it’s not ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’ (Although I am sure I could find something wrong with that too!). It is actually ‘Two out of three ain’t bad’. Why? Let me explain:
The song starts off with Meat moaning about how he and his chick have been talking and fighting (and crying) all night, and are not getting anywhere. And that she is threatening to throw him out, in the cold where the snow is piling up. And you’re thinking, shame man poor guy! Then he carries on that he has been trying to show her how much he cares, and that she is so cold that he is crying icicles instead of tears. And again you feel sorry for this poor guy with the full of shit girlfriend who is giving him the cool silent treatment.
But then the truth comes out!
Because then he fesses up – the reason for the fight is because he is just looking for a fuck-buddy and she is looking for love, and is probably already in love with him – and he has just crushed her heart by telling her that he wants sex but he does not love her, and definitely never will. No wonder she is cold towards him! No wonder she wants to throw his ass out in the snow! Then, to make matters worse, he starts talking about his ex girlfriend (cos that’s what every woman wants to hear about!) and how she treated him EXACTLY how he is treating this poor woman who is not so willing to accept his friends-with-benefits proposal! Throw his ass out I say! Let him go home and cry for hours about his ex-girlfriend. Go find someone who actually will love you, and don’t let this douche waste another minute of your time!
If you search the net for stupid lyrics, the song that is normally at the top of any list is Des’ree’s ‘Life’ – simply due to the “ghost, most, toast” line. As you know, I do not have a problem with this line, I actually quite agree with what she is saying and would definitely encourage eating toast instead of seeing ghosts. However, there is another line in this song that I find stupid: “I’m afraid of the dark, ‘specially when I’m in a park and there’s no-one else around” Why would you do this? Why would you go to a park? In the dark! All alone! With no-one else around! (which technically IS all alone) That is just plain stupid!
Um.... solitary company? How? I will leave the rest of those lyrics without comment – I just cannot.....
Talking about Africa, the song that irritates me the most, every single Christmas, is ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’ This entire verse:
- We do not consider snow a ‘gift’ in Africa. We do not have central heating and the freezing temperatures commonly associated with snow would result in a lot of people dying.
- There is snow on the top point of Mount Kilimanjaro all year round – including Christmas time, and that is in Africa
- Lots of stuff grows in Africa – do your own research on the agricultural exports in Africa!
- Lots of rivers flow in Africa. The Zambezi, the Okavango, the Orange river, the NILE!! Again, do your research!
Then we get A’s absolute fave! ‘Human’ I understand A’s irritation with this song and their eternal question “are we human, or are we dancers?” And, what makes it worse is that, for some reason which I will never understand, this song is so popular it is played on the radio all the fucking time! Every time you turn the radio on this idiot is asking if he is human or if he is a dancer! What the hell else would you be man? While some humans cannot dance, all dancers are human – trust me on this! Well, except maybe for Natalie Portman in Black Swan, cos she might not have been human, she may just have been a black swan (I only watched her final dance in the movie, and she did turn into a black swan – then she turned back into a dancer again! Maybe that’s where the confusion came from? The guy who wrote this song watched the end of this movie and got confused?)
Walking in Memphis (the Marc Cohn version, not the Cher version cos the Cher version was in the X-files when Mulder and Scully danced – so it is cool and fault free!) The line that always irritated me was “do I really feel the way I feel?”. Are you seriously asking us dude? If you don’t know, then we don’t know, you know? Men, too lazy to decide for themselves how they freaking feel! This song apparently also has one of the most misunderstood lyrics. P and I always thought he was singing “walking with my feet, 10 feet off the beat/ground somefuckingthing” – but when I looked up the official lyrics I found that what he is actually singing is “with my feet 10 feet off of Beale” Not much of an improvement because I have no idea what ‘Beale’ is! I think it’s the name of a street, maybe in Memphis? (cos that’s where he is walking) If this is true, then how the hell is he able to walk with his feet 10 feet off the street? That’s not walking, that is flying (and I want some of what he is smoking!
One last one, cos if I don’t stop I would be here all day:
I think the song is called 'Friends' and I have no idea who sings it! I just know that it is played on the radio all the freaking time and it irritates the crap out of me:
“At least I’ve got my friends, saving me from the sharks” Bwahahahahaha!!! What, cos you can swim faster than them? I think the song is called 'Friends' and I have no idea who sings it! I just know that it is played on the radio all the freaking time and it irritates the crap out of me:
I'm done here!
D
roflmao absolutely agree. And just to add, have you ever tried to explain to a non English speaker how you set fire to the rain? Sheeeesh!
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