What do we watch now?

Have you ever wondered how the TV directors/producers/writers/whatevers feel about the fan’s or more specific about the shippers?

Well lets find out shall we?

Remington Steele :- granted they obviously did not like their actors much, because they fucked PB around something terrible and cost him a good many Bond years, however they liked their fan’s enough to give them a six episode closure, and they liked their shippers enough to give them some really juicy love scene’s right from the start. 

Every episode of RS has on average two personal scenes between RS and LH, by personal I mean cuddling, hugging, kissing or talking about their relationship. I remember when we watched it, D and I had no idea what a shipper was but we loved loved loved that show. Now I know why. Each episode had enough of everything to please everyone, there was the obligatory car/bike/rollerscate/scooter/whatever chase, the normal body count, or grisly murder and the usual who-done-it theme with the fake killer or killers followed by the last minute revelation of who the real killer is, and woven in the midst of all that action is the romance, sweet, hot, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, and sometimes incredibly touching, but always there, like sugar and milk in coffee, it added and enriched the show.

Scarecrow and Mrs King, again, the show’s writers/directors/producers liked their fans, so much so when Ms Jackson got sick they gave us a wedding and a happy ever after, but even before she was diagnosed, we got long looks and bouts of jealousy, a definite something between them right up until the middle of season 2, by the end of that season we knew they were destined to be together, and by halfway into season 3 we were getting the almost kisses, which they frustratingly dragged out until the last episode in season 3, but then again it was worth the wait, when he locks that door and then grabs her with that look in his eyes…. Omg meltdown! 

Moving forward, Buffy the Vampire slayer and Angel. Joss Whedon pretended to like his fan’s, his shippers, he gave us a song and dance, played nice with us, wink wink, nudge nudge, I’ll give all my shippers what they want, kiss kiss, and we loved him for it, we absolutely adored him, he was the God of television. He gave us Buffy and Angle, Xander and Willow, Willow and OZ, Willow and Terra, Buffy and Spike, Angel and Cordy, Fred and Wesley. And then he showed his true face, as he systematically destroyed every single ship and gave us…. “I love you Spike,” as he burst into fucking flames and dies… really? FU Joss Whedon!  

  

Star Trek, DSN, Voy, TNG, (Deep Space Nine, Voyager, The Next Generation..:) ) I don’t know if I have enough space on this blog to cover that franchise fully, but the short version is they loved to fuck their fans, sometimes without any foreplay! TNG I love Ryker and Troy, shipped them with a vengeance, and they gave us that ship, in tiny little sips. In the seven seasons of TNG they gave us maybe three or four episodes with a brief moment between them, I loved them anyway. That they finally gave us the ship in the movies is I think only because that particular ship was not to be denied and they wanted their fan’s in the cinemas and that was one way of making sure they went, everyone shipped them. 

Every other ship on those shows was squashed, like a squirming bug, they threw the actors together and watched for the chemistry, then they let it play out a little, and then they stomped on it. Worf and Jadzia Dax were amazing together, all the things B'elana and Tom could have been but were not. Which brings me to that ship, yeah it came in, and then they did the unthinkable, they literally turned Torres into a doormat and asshole into an asshole. I didn’t really ship them anyway, I thought the chemistry between her and Chakotay way better and it would have been a hotter coupling, but I was willing to settle for Chuckles and Janeway, which they nearly gave us and then cruelly whipped away, only to sucker punch us with Chakotay and 7of9. So yeah, next time I watch anything Star Trek I’m packing lube!

Moving on to Murdoch Mysteries, another heart breaker. Seriously do the writers not realize how much the fan’s invest in their ships? Or are they truly convinced that we are that fickle no matter who they throw together we’ll suck it up? I think in this instance the PTB just didn’t know or care what the fan’s thought. This particular ship is too close and too painful to go into with more detail, we lived it, we survived it, we mourned it and now we are moving on. But I might add when the awful finale of season 4 aired in the UK, the board exploded with devastated fan’s begging to be told they were not about to be tossed out of a moving airShip to plummet to their shipper death, the one person to offer us hope was the original Murdoch Mysteries authors husband as he tried to calm us down and talk us all off the ledge, telling us that his wife had no say in the episode writing, and that he was sure the writers would save the day in the next season… yeah dude thanks but it’s halfway through season 5 and I still aint watching it! 

The Glades, now there again is a show where the PTB love their fan’s. I am adding the producer/director of that series to my “I heart him” list, just as soon as I take the time to find out his name. Hehe. Season 1 right from about the first show, he meets his Callie and it is sparks flying, half way through the season she’s grabbed him and literally gave him such a smooch it turns his brains to mush, you can just see it oozing out of his ears! That continues with an on again off again smooch fest until finally in the finale he bounces her and Oh my, he does it very, very well. Sadly her husband phones and interrupts the morning-after-in-the-kitchen sex. Which is ok because you know season 2 is going to be interesting because of it. And it is, yes it is also extremely annoying, and that is to be expected, the writers are after all mostly men, however the season 2 finale makes up for everything!

Bones, ugh what can I say? Only that HH is absolutely clueless, and loosing more clue by the second! Did he break the moonlighting curse? Ummm well… he just created a whole nuther something, I can’t even call it a curse, it’s more of an Armageddon implosion. It’s as if he wanted to self destruct the show by overdosing the fans on too much sweetness, he’s succeeding. 

Now see a lot of people will say Awww how sweet, Bones is Mommy, Booth is daddy and isn’t they just the sweetest things you’s ever did see. They’ll all be lapping up the, I love my baby so much, and if anything happened to that baby I’d die. (Which is a whole nuther rant on my part because to me that sounded like Booth was saying, yeah I dig you fine, but man if anything happened to my sprog… I’d die?) and a lot of them will say Yes! see HH did beat that nasty old curse, while they do an air high five. 

But some of us are faster on the uptake than other’s or have a lower tolerance to bullshit, even if it is sweetened with sprinkles on top. And it is bullshit, smelly, over done, lazy ass, piled up to the rafters, shyte. I understand ED was preggers and they had to do something, but frankly, I wish they had done anything but that! I would have been fine with another season of unrequited love, of a slow getting back into each other, after the Hannah disaster, I’d have settled for body shots of ED from the face up, and her spending more time in the lab, as long as they gave us a few tender moments, it did not even have to be total lip locks or sex as long as it moved their emotional story along. What we got was “Booth I’m pregnant, and you’re the father”. It’s like HH prematurely ejaculated all over his fans while we’re all still waiting for the fun to start.

I mean seriously how hard do you have to work to fuck something that good up???

Castle, and here I’m probably going to have D wanting to throw Ninja stars at my ass, bit it is another ship that is sinking fast. Mostly because the BFFF (big fat flabby faddy) is being a dick, and the writers shot themselves in the foot by introducing Detective Hunk… er I mean Hunt into things. My best case scenario? Hunky Hunt call’s our delectable Beckett for help on a particularly complicated murder in London and she leaves the bfff to his bimbo’s and baby face pouting. Maybe just maybe he’ll man up and go after her with a little more effort than… “I love you” while she’s bleeding to death from a bullet to the chest!! I even prefered the neanderthal he was partnered up with last week, purely for “A woman like that, you storm the beaches or die trying!” he’s and ass but I like his style.

I’m very much afraid that while I still love, adore, worship, have confusing possibly lesbian feelings about, Beckett, I am seriously not even liking Castle a little bit, and despite the derogatory name calling, it’s not because he’s gotten a little rounder, it’s simply because as a writer in a cop show he always skated the very edge of wimpy wussyness but somehow managed to make that appealing, now he’s toppled right over into the abyss and IMO no longer compliments Beckett at all, in fact he seems to me just to be a great big baby she has to coddle. AM I’ve had my fill of onscreen babies, for fuck’s sakes macho Castle up!

The Good Wife.  For a while there I really thought that maybe my ship on that one would come in, but sadly it’s sinking… or not. They are only on the third season so I can’t really say how they feel about their fans, it all hangs on how they end the season. 

See there is a very simple way to tell if the show’s PTB like their fans or not, just watch how they end their seasons. Most of these show’s do not know if they are going to be renewed for another season until long after the last show has been filmed and aired. Which means they have to assume that every season will be their last, and how they end those seasons show us how they feel about us. So far TGW is up for grab’s, they gave us a suspense ending on season 1, the most amazing kiss for season 2, the next two episodes of season 3 will determine if they get my attention next September or not.

Justified is a show that is worth watching, but the only one I want to ship Timothy Olyphant with is me!!

Which brings me to my question..... WHAT THE FUCK DO WE WATCH NOW!!

No longer shipping Cask.....

Um.....

... sorry, what was I saying?

LOL

Words and Music

After various chats with various people about stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics, I decided to dedicate today’s blog to this very subject!

 
Stupid/irritating or just plain ridiculous lyrics.

Before I get into the first song, I need to confess something:  As much as I love MeatLoaf (when he is singing Jim Steinman songs), there is one song that always irritated me.  No, it’s not ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’ (Although I am sure I could find something wrong with that too!).  It is actually ‘Two out of three ain’t bad’.  Why?  Let me explain:

The song starts off with Meat moaning about how he and his chick have been talking and fighting (and crying) all night, and are not getting anywhere.  And that she is threatening to throw him out, in the cold where the snow is piling up.  And you’re thinking, shame man poor guy!  Then he carries on that he has been trying to show her how much he cares, and that she is so cold that he is crying icicles instead of tears.  And again you feel sorry for this poor guy with the full of shit girlfriend who is giving him the cool silent treatment.  

But then the truth comes out! 

Because then he fesses up – the reason for the fight is because he is just looking for a fuck-buddy and she is looking for love, and is probably already in love with him – and he has just crushed her heart by telling her that he wants sex but he does not love her, and definitely never will.  No wonder she is cold towards him!  No wonder she wants to throw his ass out in the snow!  Then, to make matters worse, he starts talking about his ex girlfriend (cos that’s what every woman wants to hear about!) and how she treated him EXACTLY how he is treating this poor woman who is not so willing to accept his friends-with-benefits proposal!  Throw his ass out I say!  Let him go home and cry for hours about his ex-girlfriend. Go find someone who actually will love you, and don’t let this douche waste another minute of your time! 

If you search the net for stupid lyrics, the song that is normally at the top of any list is Des’ree’s ‘Life’ – simply due to the “ghost, most, toast” line.  As you know, I do not have a problem with this line, I actually quite agree with what she is saying and would definitely encourage eating toast instead of seeing ghosts.  However, there is another line in this song that I find stupid: “I’m afraid of the dark, ‘specially when I’m in a park and there’s no-one else around” Why would you do this?  Why would you go to a park? In the dark! All alone! With no-one else around! (which technically IS all alone)  That is just plain stupid! 

Remember Toto’s ‘Africa’?  Nice song right?  I know, we always bitched about the “I guess it rains down in Africa” line, especially since we grew up in Africa and we experienced very many rainstorms during the years, some that even led to the flooding of our house!  So, yes dude, it DOES rain in Africa!  So much so that the cars were floating down the river outside my bedroom window!  BUT, this is not the most ridiculous line of the song!  It gets worse!  ‘The wild dogs cry out in the night. As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company. I know that I must do what's right. As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti”
Um.... solitary company?  How?  I will leave the rest of those lyrics without comment – I just cannot.....

Talking about Africa, the song that irritates me the most, every single Christmas, is ‘Do they know it’s Christmas?’  This entire verse:

“And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time. The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life. Where nothing ever grows. No rain or rivers flow.”

1. 
   We do not consider snow a ‘gift’ in Africa. We do not have central heating and the freezing temperatures commonly associated with snow would result in a lot of people dying.
2. There is snow on the top point of Mount Kilimanjaro all year round – including Christmas time, and that is in Africa
3. 
   Lots of stuff grows in Africa – do your own research on the agricultural exports in Africa!
4. Lots of rivers flow in Africa. The Zambezi, the Okavango, the Orange river, the NILE!!  Again, do your research!

Then we get A’s absolute fave!  ‘Human’  I understand A’s irritation with this song and their eternal question “are we human, or are we dancers?”  And, what makes it worse is that, for some reason which I will never understand, this song is so popular it is played on the radio all the fucking time!  Every time you turn the radio on this idiot is asking if he is human or if he is a dancer!  What the hell else would you be man?  While some humans cannot dance, all dancers are human – trust me on this!  Well, except maybe for Natalie Portman in Black Swan, cos she might not have been human, she may just have been a black swan (I only watched her final dance in the movie, and she did turn into a black swan – then she turned back into a dancer again!  Maybe that’s where the confusion came from?  The guy who wrote this song watched the end of this movie and got confused?)

Walking in Memphis (the Marc Cohn version, not the Cher version cos the Cher version was in the X-files when Mulder and Scully danced – so it is cool and fault free!)  The line that always irritated me was “do I really feel the way I feel?”.  Are you seriously asking us dude?  If you don’t know, then we don’t know, you know?  Men, too lazy to decide for themselves how they freaking feel!  This song apparently also has one of the most misunderstood lyrics.  P and I always thought he was singing “walking with my feet, 10 feet off the beat/ground somefuckingthing” – but when I looked up the official lyrics I found that what he is actually singing is “with my feet 10 feet off of Beale”  Not much of an improvement because I have no idea what ‘Beale’ is!  I think it’s the name of a street, maybe in Memphis? (cos that’s where he is walking)  If this is true, then how the hell is he able to walk with his feet 10 feet off the street?  That’s not walking, that is flying (and I want some of what he is smoking!

One last one, cos if I don’t stop I would be here all day:

I think the song is called 'Friends' and I have no idea who sings it!  I just know that it is played on the radio all the freaking time and it irritates the crap out of me:

“At least I’ve got my friends, saving me from the sharks” Bwahahahahaha!!!  What, cos you can swim faster than them? 






I'm done here!

D

It's Friday!!!

I'm busy working on a new blog post, in the meantime have a look at this:

YUMMY!!

Oh, and one more random gif (which I like because of reasons!):

D

Pirates A'hoy!

Is it wrong to steal from thieves?

By that I mean film piracy.

Here’s the thing, in this new age I think its really time the PTB pulled their fingers out of my pockets and re-thunk their entire system.

Do I think film piracy is wrong? Actually yes and no. 

In my opinion it’s like the prohibition era of the 1920’s, and about as uncontrollable. 

Yes going into a cinema and filming the film then uploading it, is costing the film industry millions... or so they try and make you believe, but come on lets face it we are in the middle of a depression, who can afford to dish out a twenty just to see a film?

And if the answer to that is, then you just don’t get to see it until it comes out on DVD? I’d be fine with it, if the PTB did not rage a physiological war on all my senses practically mind controlling me to need to see that film. 

Every billboard, every advert, every interview, every trailer and every single one of the millions of posters all over the town are a subtle but undeniable push on your subconscious until you are convinced that dolling out your last twenty bucks is the only way to find true happiness.

True story. Today’s advertising and promotion companies have become coldly and calculatingly scientific in their hunger to sell their product, and the film companies pay for the best in those fields. Every word, every image and even the colors of those images are carefully created to tempt you beyond common sense into parting with your hard earned money.

I remember as a kid (and yes it was in the last millennium!) it cost 25cents to see a film in the evening and 10cents for the matinee. 

Nowadays it does not matter what time you go, you pay up to 20€. What could possibly justify that kind of inflation? New technology? Films costing more to produce? 

I agree the actors are jumping on that band wagon and charging ridiculous amounts of money for each film they work on, but that’s another rant.

There are so many more cinema’s all over the world today than there were back then, they are bigger, and the films themselves have become shorter, there are also a lot more people going to see the films now than they did back in dark ages of my childhood. Computers have made special effects and stunts a mere mouse click away. I think if you worked it out penny for penny, the film industry today is robbing you blind.

Television is another medium that’s firing it’s guns on illegal downloads, and one I am completely and utterly against. I think they are the pirates and not the people downloading their favorite shows.

Those shows are aired openly, you are permitted to set your recording devise to record it, and watch it whenever you want, but if you download it from the internet that is illegal... WTF?

Why? 

Because they want to be able to charge you upwards from 30€ when they bring out  the DVD’s that’s why. Despite the fact that those shows have already paid for themselves, and made a profit. 

Television shows make a killing in commercials. Depending on when it’s aired, and what the viewer counts are. If the show is at the top of the ratings range one 30 second slot can cost up to $2.4 million, even the less watched shows cost $100 000/30 seconds. 

There are about 8 minutes of adverts for every 30 minutes of show time, which is not counting the adverts before the start and after the finish of the show, between show commercials can take up to 6 minutes..... 

And then there is the re-runs, those same shows will be re-shown over and over for years to come and every time the commercials are making money. 

So anyone with a calculator can try and work that out. For me its clear enough to see that they are making enough money without charging me an arm and a leg for the box set!

DVD production of TV shows are pure profit with absolutely no expense for the Networks, no air time, no advertising, and nowadays with amazon download and itunes not even the cost of DVD production. 

And they call us Pirates? 

Which brings me to my theory. These companies are paying billions in legal fees against Torrent sites, Peer to Peer download sites and even individuals that have been caught pirating. While I agree making DVD’s of downloaded films and shows and then selling them is illegal and deserving being called Pirating, charging me for the DVD or download of a show that has already made it’s profit is just as bad. 

I think Cinema’s should go back to much cheeper matinee and morning shows during the week, even evening shows during the working week can be brought down in price, (and someone should really sue them for the prices they are charging for popcorn...).  

That way if people absolutely want to go see a movie, making it more affordable during certain times would actually increase their ticket sales. 

I mean lets be honest if I had a choice between paying say 3 € for a movie, or downloading a crappy Cam-recording that I can’t see, I’d pay the fiver, and I know my kids would rather go see it at the cinema with their buddies. I think the profit in increased teenage sales alone will make it worth the lowered ticket price.

As for TV shows. The networks need to open their online site’s to international viewers, allowing everyone to download and watch shows run the previous night for a small fee. Hulu charges $6 a month (but no downloading and not for international viewers), I’d go as high as 15€ for the right to watch my favorite show the day after it’s aired and the right to download it to watch on my big screen. 

Logically all TV shows can not be shown world wide at the same time, I realizes that, but there is also no reason for the rest of the world to be a year behind, and honestly in foreign speaking countries the fact that you can jump onto NBC and watch Castle in english is not going to cost them any viewers since people will still want or need to watch it when its Dubbed.

Win win. It might not be the most profitable solution for the Networks or the PTB, but it is the most honest one. 

So yeah stop the Piracy... theirs not ours.