Looking for the lifeboat?

D and I had a very long in-depth debate about the last episode of Bones. One of many that we have decided to agree to disagree on. The thing is, I can totally see where she is coming from. Let me explain…

Booth did another of his  teach-the-squint-humanity type games with Bones and I have to admit he’s even starting to annoy me with it. (D on the other hand is way past annoyed and close to lets cut his balls off and make pretty earrings stage… mmm I do love danglies in my ears…but I digress.) 

D’s thinking is that ever since the beginning of the ship, Booth has been systematically trying to change Bones into what he feels is the right way to be, even his “I’m the gambler” thing is in D’s opinion another example of his my-way-or-the-highway ruling, saying that yes I love you, but you need to love me the way I want you to love me or I will go find someone else, and D’s right, absolutely. 

In this last episode another wee lesson was given, he tells her undeniably that he saw a Yetti and because she cares for him, but can't change her scientific belief she goes all out to find a way that she can believe in him and yet not loose her basic belief in science. In the end he admits that he never did see one and that she just went to a lot of trouble for nothing. (Swine!!) Honestly, I’m with D on that one, I admit I was not at first, I was shocked and shaken and ready to shout “throw the turncoat overboard” when my ever present inner editor/voice of reason (bloodsucking, soul destroying slug from hell! The IE not D… hehe) poked me into watching that part of the show again. He’s smug!! The son of a bitch is standing there not with an ah-man-she’s-so-cute expression on his face as I first assumed, he’s smug, with an I-taught-the-sqint a lesson smirk on his face. 

However, DB’s obviously slacking acting skills aside, I am not quite ready to grab the life vests yet. While I do agree with D in part that he is trying to change her, and this last episode did raise my hackles and I really really want to hand Bones a gun to shoot him with, I have to disagree with D’s opinion that it’s all only on his side. The truth is Bones is just as determined to change him as he is her. By the very fact that she will not bend one tiny fraction in her rigid beliefs she is in fact trying to force him into a mould of her making. 

They are both unable to accept the other as they are, both of them convinced that their way is the only way, and both are desperately hanging onto their “identities” terrified to change for the other. And the sad fact is both of them do need to compromise before that ship can sail anywhere other than the bottom of the ocean its heading for at the moment. 

He’s going to have to start accepting that she will never have blind faith in anything, except him, and that’s what he can’t see. She does have absolute faith in him, and he has the same faith in her, yet neither of them realize what that means. She is set in her fear that she will never be as open as he is, but she’s already open to him. She just needs to realize that, and there in lies the lesson I think he’s trying to show her. 

And Booth? Well he needs to accept that love is not always about who shows it the most, who says it the loudest or even who is more open to it, but that it's in the quiet moments and the trust one heart has for another. Booth has worn his heart on his sleeve for her from the start and that's his way, but just because she does not dangle it out there, or even name it for what it is, does not mean it's not as true or as real as his. They both need to stop expecting the other to be “ideal” and accept that what they have is already working with both of them just the way they are, and that in itself is a change they both have to make.

And I added this one just for D.